And the Holding Pattern Continues...

Today, I went to Philadelphia to see my Jefferson neurologist and have 2 more tests done. However, due to personnel being unavailable, I was not able to have the EEG done. I was able to have the ENG (used to test if the inner ear is the culprit for causing dizziness) done, which was negative. Between that test and the ANSAR test and MRA I had done 2 weeks ago, my doctor was able to rule out more of the concerning diagnoses like MS and any other auto-immune disease, vasculitis, and aneurism or other vessel disorders.

At this point, my lesion on my brain appears to be non-active. There is a chance that we may not know what it is and will just need to monitor it every 6-9 months for changes. I will be having the EEG on Dec. 27 at 1 p.m. I now also need to have a fine motor function test done by a physical therapist to determine the extent that my tremors and fine motor skills are affecting my ability to function (in my opinion, this is more problematic to me now than the pain since the pain is now at a functional level). I also need to see a neuropsychologist for testing to see how different stressors affect my function since the tremors and fine motor issues are seeming to be exacerbated by outside pressure/stress.

Because of troublesome side effects from the Elavil that I am on to control the migraine pain, I am going to wean off of that and start on a different drug that doesn't have those side effects but can cause other potentially troublesome side effects. So I guess we'll have to figure out which one is the lesser of the 2 evils. If I keep this up, I will be able to open a pharmacy with all of the drugs that I have that I cannot take anymore! (that is, if it weren't illegal :-) )

So, no answers and more tests to come at this point for me. I have to admit that it is really starting to get discouraging. All I wanted for Christmas was a diagnoses, and now, I will not have one before the beginning of the new year. I really want to be normal again. I want to be the wife and mother that I need to be to my family. Poor Josh in his Asperger way just wants to know when I will be better since the unknown causes so much anxiety for him!

However, I have to remember that God is in all of this. Everything is happening in His timing for His purpose. I simply need to be patient and rest in His grace during this difficult time. The temptation to doubt is definitely growing in its intensity. I am reminded of Paul's resolve to firmly believe and live in God's all sufficient grace knowing that God's strength is made perfect in weakness (II Corinthians 12:7-10).