Lament Explored: Part I: What is Lament?

 “A broken world will bring its share of grief, but it can also bring wisdom if we are willing to slow down, listen, and learn” (Vroegop, p.100).

As I have journeyed in lament these last several months, I have been amazed by all that I have learned about God and myself as I reflect on the pain, turn to God, and cry out to Him in the midst of my deepest sorrows.  While I do not like the pain one bit and long to see light at end of this very long tunnel, I am grateful that these months of darkness have not been wasted, and that God has been my source of light over and over again keeping me from stumbling in my darkness. 

I’ve never really thought much about lament.  The first time I even considered lament was in 2022 when a dear friend encouraged me to read Ragged: Spiritual Disciplines for the Spiritually Exhausted by Gretchen Ronnevik.  I’ve never considered lamenting to be a discipline of grace not to mention be a part of my life.  In fact, as a child, I was told by my pastor that I shouldn’t question God but just trust Him.  That never made sense to me as I studied God’s Word, particularly the Psalms, where the psalmists often boldly questioned God.

This journey in lament has been an awakening to the goodness of God in the midst of the hard times.  Lament has given voice and words to my prayers when all I could do was groan initially.  At the start of my lament journey, I began to read Dark Clouds Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament by Mark Vroegop.  I have learned so much, and I don’t ever want to forget it, so I’ve been doing a lot of note taking, journaling, and praying my own prayers of lament or using one of the psalmist’s when I can’t seem to find the words myself.  I want to share what I have learned with others to help them find comfort in the midst of their sorrows.  Because there is so much to share, I am breaking down my thoughts into several parts and basing my content off of Vroegop’s wonderful book on Lament:

Part I:  What is Lament?

Part II: What does Lament do?

Part III: Lament Contrasted

Part IV:  Trust Born From Lament

Part V: How to Lament

“Whatever the reason, loss can feel like a wasteland.  It’s devastating.  But lament helps us to rehearse biblical truth so hope will return.  Despite what you see, despite what you feel, despite what you think, lament can be a supply of grace as you affirm that God’s mercies are new every day” (Vroegop, p.106-107).

Come journey with me!

Part I:  What is Lament?

Ryan Higginbottom defines lament nicely for us:  “A lament is a prayer expressing sorrow, pain, or confusion.  Lament should be the chief way Christians process grief in God’s presence.”

(Biblical Lament: What it is and How to Do It by Ryan Higginbottom. June 13, 2022. https://openthebible.org/article/biblical-lament-what-it-is-and-how-to-do-it/#:~:text=What%20is%20Lament%3F,process%20grief%20in%20God's%20presence.)

In Dark Clouds Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament, Mark Vroegop gives us several definitions of Lament:

Lament is…

• “a minor-key language for my suffering” (Vroegop, p.17).
• “a place to learn” (Vroegop, p.91).
• “a journey through the shock and awe of pain” (Vroegop, p.96).
• “the song we sing while living in a world that is under the curse of sin” (Vroegop, p.99).
• “an uncomfortable yet helpful teacher” (Vroegop, p.100).
• “one of the ways that a heart is tuned toward God’s perspective” (Vroegop, p.103).
• “the language of those stumbling in their journey to find mercy in dark clouds” (Vroegop, p.108).
• “a prayer of faith despite your fear” (Vroegop, p.110).
• “the language that calls us, as exiles, to uncurl our fingers from our objects of trust” (Vroegop, p.123).
• “the song you sing when diving blessing seems far away” (Vroegop, p.136).
• “a prayer in pain that leads to trust” (Vroegop, p.158).
• “the prayer language for those who are struggling with sadness” (Vroegop, p.162).
• “a means of grace, no matter what trial you face.  This biblical song of sorrow can become a personal pathway for mercy when darkness has settled in” (Vroegop, p.170).
• “the language of loss as we grieve together” (Vroegop, p.187).
• “how we experience grace no matter what we face” (Vroegop, p.191).
• “the language that helps you believe catastrophe can become eucatastrophe [Tolkein’s word for ‘unexpected appearance of goodness’].  It vocalizes the pain of the moment while believing that helps is on the way” (Vroegop, p.192). 

Consider these final thoughts:

“Through all the pain, the questions, the unfair treatment at the hands of others, and the injustice, lament leads us to a place of worship” (Vroegop, p.83).

“Lament is how you live between a hard life and God’s promises.  It is how we learn to sing and worship when suffering comes our way” (Vroegop, p.84).

“Lament prayers cry out to God and ask him for deliverance: ‘God, this hurts! Please help me!’” (Vroegop, p. 148).

“Dark clouds can yield deep mercy as lament leads to Christ” (Vroegop, p.152).

“Regardless of the pain, lament is always the God-given path through grief” (Vroegop, p.165).