It Takes a Village to Raise a Special Needs Child

The last two weeks have been utterly horrific and ones that I pray we will never have to repeat.  Josh came completely unglued emotionally leading to terrible and horrifying behaviors.  It was like reliving the unstable days of years past when his bipolar was not well controlled.  He has been stable for the last 3 years, but since we decided to do a family missions trip because Josh was so stable, it seems as if Satan is pulling out all of the stops to get us to change our mind.

We spent the last week and a half deliberating about whether or not to hospitalize Josh.  It was the most agonizing decision to make knowing he was completely out of control and out of our ability to control yet knowing that if we send him back to the hospital, it will be yet another traumatic experience for him complicated by the fact that the hospital simply drugs the kids to make them calm, keeps them in front of a TV screen all day to keep them under control, and feeds them all of kinds of food that we do not put into our bodies not to mention the gluten and refined sugars that would be served that are huge triggers for Josh and his mood/behaviors.  It was a no-win situation, but we were quickly running out of other options.

Throughout this struggle, we had dear friends from church who regularly checked in with us, sent me encouraging texts including reminders of helpful Scripture passages, and who came at a last minute's notice to allow us to get out of the chaos for a quick breath of fresh air and a chance to celebrate Tim's passing of his Certified Financial Planner exam.  I was encouraged by a phone conversation I had with one of Josh's youth leaders who was concerned about Josh and his behaviors and wanting to know how the youth leaders can help him be more successful in youth group then praying with me that God would help Josh through this difficult time and return to stability.  David's Christian counselor who had done a joint session with the boys the last week and could tell Josh was coming undone sent me an email to check in and see how we were doing and see if she can help in anyway.  Josh's school was extremely concerned and offered their help and support to us and did all that was necessary to help keep him under control as much as it was possible.  Josh's psychiatrist saw Josh on an emergency basis then gave me her cell phone number so that I could contact her at any time (and she walked with us through the battle of whether or not to hospitalize several different days over the last two weeks).  She is also a blessing in that she doesn't always see medication as the answer to problems.  Josh's nutritionist responded to my email asking if she had any suggestions for ways we can help Josh by offering her chiropractor husband's services before his office hours began to do some specialized neurological adjustments to help Josh, and as he did so, he spoke the Gospel to him.  The nutritionist then offered to squeeze Josh into her busy schedule to see if anything from a nutritional and supplemental standpoint could be done to help him.  We had another friend who still willingly came in the midst of the chaos to watch the boys so we didn't have to cancel our plans to go to a concert in Philly that we had bought tickets for back in December.  I had another friend who deals with similar drama in her household come alongside of me and check in with me all while being an encouragement just through her mutual understanding.  We also had many friends and family members praying for Josh and for us, and prayer is just what all of us needed!

I can't imagine having to do these last two weeks alone!  I am thankful for the village God has built up around us to stand with us in trials and support and encourage us.  Had it not been for the support of those faithful villagers, I am not sure what things would be looking like right now.  God through His goodness and providence has helped us have all that we needed to walk through this fire.

With the sudden return to stability Josh experienced yesterday (most likely due to the prayers, neurological adjustment, and supplement changes), we are more than ready to take deep breaths of fresh air.  However as I do so, I am praising God for our village and the way He used dear people to help us get to the other side.  Raising a child with special needs is not for the faint of heart, but it's also impossible to do alone.  It truly does take a village to raise a special needs child, and I am grateful that God has not left us alone!

Letting Faith Rest in the Power of God

As our date of departure for our family missions trip draws ever nearer, and the final plans are made, I found myself feeling more and more nervous about bringing our oldest on the trip with us due to his continued mood instability.  I feared for his safety with the way he was acting not to mention that I worried about how his behavior would be looked upon by the people in that culture.  I was praying that God would help him to become stable again, but it seemed that each day, there were only more problems rather than fewer.  I began doubting our decision and whether or not God wanted us to bring our son with us.  On top of that, I wrestled with the fact that the country we were headed to had fewer than 1% of the population who were Christians and there really wasn't a model for what a Christian family should look like in that culture except what the pastors and their families are presenting as they blaze the trail raising Christian families.  Part of my vision for the trip was that we could let the people there see what an American Christian family looks like.  However, with the way our oldest was behaving, that idea would be a disaster because we'd only show them how truly broken we really are.  I worried about showing that side.

I expressed my concern in a discussion with Tim who stated that it's not our mission to present to them a "perfect" Christian family.  It's our mission to be with them in body and Spirit encouraging and ministering to each other.  That's what a partnership is all about.  Through the ministry of one another, God builds His Church.  I was thankful for Tim's insight, input, and decision that we are going as a complete family no matter what.

The next day, in reading an excerpt from a meditations book written by missionaries with Josh, I had to smile at God's providence at the passage of Scripture and following reflection about that passage because it was just what I needed to read and meditate upon in my heart.

I Corinthians 2:1-5:  And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.

God has this trip already worked out.  He has my son's stability under His control.  He's the one who called us to do this trip as a family, and He's the one doing amazing things to make this trip possible.  He has called us to be lights and bring the Gospel to all peoples making disciples.  We do that by presenting Christ in our brokenness.  We don't want to be making converts of the Russell Kingdom.  We want to make converts of Christ's Kingdom.  What better way to do that but through our own brokenness and desperate need for a Savior.  May these dear people we fellowship with see Christ and Christ alone in our broken lives and may all of the honor and glory go to Him who sustains us and gives us the strength to finish each day through His great and mighty power.

Interestingly enough, as soon as I embraced this new way of thinking, things calmed down in our household, and our son has seen the most stability yet since things got rough in December.  Perhaps God just needed to get my attention and teach me a lesson and grow my faith!  To God be the glory!