Today I celebrate another year of life. What's significant about that? I wasn't expected to be celebrating today. In fact, based on the doctor's predictions they shared with my husband almost a year ago, I wasn't supposed to live, yet here I am now entering my 40th year of life.
Predictions don't determine God's plans, and God had my days numbered before I was formed in my mother's womb. I will not die a day earlier than what was predetermined by Him in His sovereign will.
So, here I am celebrating the life I still have left to continue to serve God. When I didn't die there in the hospital when they discovered I had severe acute hyponatremia (sudden, low sodium levels) and thought they were too late, and when I woke up after being unresponsive for 24 hours exactly and discovered that I was in an ICU and had been hooked up to a ventilator, I knew there was a reason why I was still here and not in heaven. As the painfully slow days of my recovery turned into a few months with my making a surprising and unpredicted near-complete recovery from the damage done to my heart and brain from the low sodium levels, I realized that God still has work for me to do for His kingdom.
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| My continued unresponsive state after being removed from the ventilator |
I don't understand all that God is doing in my life or what He expects from me, but I do know that He has called me to live each day for His glory as I love Him and follow His commands. As family trials have continued to be difficult over the last year making the past two years the most difficult ones of our lives, I can't say that there haven't been times that I have wished I had died that day or wondered why I couldn't be free of these trials and be present with the Lord. Those thoughts have come and gone over the course of the year, but one thing I always come back to is that God's not done with me yet. When He is, then I will enter His presence.
In the meantime, I rejoice that I have breath to praise Him and energy to serve Him. I celebrate the life He has given to me and the course of life that He has ordained. God is good in the good times and the bad times. This year has been a time of growth in my trust in Him and His sovereignty as I learned in new ways to let go of my own plans and desires and let God be God. I love Him more today than I did a year ago. I know Him in a deeper and more intimate way today than at my last birthday. I hunger and thirst after His Word and His righteousness more than I ever have. They are my lifeline!
So today, I celebrate His work in my heart and life. I reflect on His sovereign plan for my life.
Because of God's faithfulness, I am here today celebrating a day others predicted I would never see. May He receive all of the glory and honor due Him.
Psalm 139:13-17:
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!"
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!"
