Celebrating Success

If you are a special needs family, you understand the difficulty of doing special things in the community as an entire family.  This is a struggle we had dealt with since our boys were a toddler and baby.

Due to his Autism, Josh struggles with sensory overload and anxiety over new places and new routines.  As a result, being in a new and public environment doesn't work so well for him.  Our attempts to have him in this kind of environment usually end up in an embarrassing meltdown and humiliating drama.  As a result, we typically don't bring Josh into community settings, and it's not for the lack of trying.  Every so often, we build up the courage to give it a shot only to be discouraged and disappointed when it didn't go so well.

We got convicted about preventing David from experiencing community outings because of his brother, so we started doing family events with just the 3 of us leaving Josh with a home health aide to care for his needs.  Even though, Josh never really seemed bothered by it or left out, we always felt so guilty having fun without him and feeling his absence deeply.

Since Josh has been doing so much better as a result of our wellness journey and use of essential oils, we decided to test the limit.  We had been doing a few small-scale outings with the assistance of a home health aide and having an easier time of it, but the outings were not huge events.  We decided to press the limits this past Friday and have a family dinner at a Turkish restaurant in Philadelphia then attend a String Quartet concert at the Kimmel Center.  The concert started at 8:00 p.m., which is Josh's bed-time, and usually, he doesn't do well if we mess with that, so this test was huge in many respects.

I am so excited to announce that the evening was a HUGE success!  Josh didn't have any meltdowns.  We had a close call in the middle of the second musical piece when we prevented Josh from lying on the floor during the concert, but he was able to use his coping skills and pull himself together without creating a huge scene.  He loved the outing and has remarked several times how much fun he had and that he wants to do something like that again!  It's great for his confidence to know that he can have a successful outing also.  A second test was the next day because of the extremely late night.  We got home shortly after 11:00 p.m. Friday night (of course, Josh slept the whole way home).  When Josh doesn't go to bed at 8:00 p.m., his behavior is usually terrible the next day.  However, on Saturday, he had a great day despite the many chores (another angst)!

We are praising the Lord for His work in Josh's life and giving our family the chance to be whole and enjoy quality and memorable time together doing special things in the community!  We pray that we will have many more happy and memorable outings.

Waiting for the concert to begin

Reflections of 2015

"I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." - Isaiah 61:10

We rejoice as we reflect on the significance of Christ’s birth, sinless life, selfless death, and victorious resurrection. We are grateful for His sacrifice for us so that we can have God’s great gift of salvation. We revel in the hope of living with Him for all eternity. While we long for that day, we also see God’s purpose for us right where He has us and are honored to be his instruments of His Gospel plan.

With the close of 2015 and the entrance into 2016, our hearts are overflowing with joy for the abundant answers to prayer we have seen this year and the countless blessings, and we eagerly anticipate all that God will do in the coming year in our hearts and lives and those He brings across our paths.

David, now 9 years old and in 4th grade, is becoming quite the violinist. He also started taking piano lessons at the beginning of the summer and is quickly learning that instrument as well. He was gifted with an incredible musical ear and a love for music. We love when he uses His musical gifts for the Lord! He started doing Taekwondo over the summer and just got his yellow belt with a white stripe completing the test by breaking 2 boards with a single snap kick. David has officially been off of antibody transfusions for a year and is the healthiest he has ever been! David, our failure to thrive infant has just recently moved into the same size clothing as his older brother who has always been at the top of the growth charts – truly a miracle! David loves reading, doing art, and loves building Legos.

Josh, now 11 years old and in the 6th grade, is finishing his last year in elementary school. He loves
earth science, health class, and gym class! He is finishing his second year of piano and voice lessons. This has been a year of transformation for Josh. He has come off of all but 1 of the original 10 medications he took in a day, and the last one he is taking is only 1/3 of the dose he was originally on. His doctor would like to wean him off of this last one starting in March if all continues to go well. This is a huge answer to prayer and one which we are still praying fervently about. Josh loves playing board and card games and is difficult to beat. Strategy games are his most favorite. Josh also loves swimming, riding his bike and scooter, reading, and building Legos.

I continue to work as a special needs pediatric trach/vent nurse for Bayada Pediatrics. I love working with my patients and their families. My business Balanced Essential Living is officially a year old. I get so much joy helping to educate and empower people to improve their health and well-being through the use of natural solutions in the form of essential oils. My business has allowed me to get out of the home more and meet all kinds of wonderful people I would have never met otherwise. It’s been a huge personal development opportunity stretching me well beyond my comfort zone and growing me as a person. I have also thoroughly enjoyed improving my own family’s health. It has been amazing to reflect back on how far we have come since using essential oils almost 2 years ago! My headaches and migraines are truly a thing of the past, and I only had 1 cold all year! I’ve taken on a new role doing quarterly partnership newsletters and monthly prayer partner updates for Asia Minor Partners (AMP), a partnership with a country in the Middle East that Tim and I have been involved in for 7.5 years.

Tim continues his position as financial advisor/wealth manager for The Life Financial Group. He

began his studies to become a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) this year and anticipates taking the CFP exam by next Fall. He does a great job balancing work, his studies, being a father and husband, and working around our house inside and out. He continues his role on the Leadership Team for AMP. Our family has been praying about the opportunity to go over as a family for a ministry trip to spend time with our brothers and sisters in Christ in that country. We had hoped to go this year, but God closed the door, so we are praying for an open one in 2016 or at the latest 2017. Tim continues to serve as a deacon at our church Grace & Peace PCA in Pottstown and is a leader in Kid’s Club.

We are so thankful that God holds us in His hands and that nothing that happens is outside of God’s will for our lives. We know that God does work all things for our good and His glory and pray that He will continue to shine His light through our lives to bring others to a saving knowledge of Him. We pray that each of you know this hope and trust in God in your own hearts and lives and if you don’t, we pray you come to know it even this year! May God richly bless you in this year to come!

Raising Sexual Abuse Awareness

I recently watched TLC's Breaking the Silence, a documentary on sexual abuse.  I was very impressed with how it was presented, and I liked the way they left the viewer with the urgency to take action to help prevent sexual abuse from happening in his own family.  I would encourage every adult to watch this video and take heed the action steps.

http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/tlc-presents/videos/breaking-the-silence/ 

As a victim of sexual abuse myself, I was nervous to watch the video because I was afraid of all of the bad memories it might uncover.  While it was gut-wrenching to hear the stories of the victims, I was surprised by how many things they said that I could completely relate to as a victim myself.

It seems that sexual abuse is a taboo subject that not many people like to talk about, but it's so important the people understand how common it is and know what to do about it.  Awareness goes a long way for prevention.

It's also so important that people be aware of how commonly a trusted family member or friend is the perpetrator.  Minimizing the opportunities is very important, and most people tend to be the most lax in their vigilance around those trusted family and friends.  For me, it was a deacon in my church who happened to be the husband of my beloved Sunday School teacher.  They had also babysat my siblings and me on more than one occasion.  You just can't trust anyone, and therefore it's best to never let your child(ren) be alone with any one person.

Talking to your children about sexual abuse even when they are young is really important.  Even if you don't use the exact terms, it's so important that your child understands the importance of private parts staying private and inappropriate and appropriate touch.  They also need to understand the importance of never being alone with just one person.  Help them know the importance of telling a trusted adult about any inappropriate touch or behavior no matter what they were told (keeping a secret or threats of bad things happening to them or their loved ones).  My abuser had been abusing his grandchildren, and the truth wasn't uncovered until my abuse had been reported to the authorities.  My abuser violated me twice, and unfortunately, the second time (most traumatic time) could have been avoided had I known the importance of reporting what he did to me the first time.

It is so easy to miss the signs of sexual abuse.  Everyone reacts differently to abuse, but often there is a significant change in behavior.  For me, I became shy and had low self-esteem and a low self-concept.  For a while right after the abuse, I used to rock, holding myself saying, "I'm dirty" over and over again.  I was desperately afraid of anyone of the male race and flinched if I came into casual contact with a male.  I would have panic attacks in the store if I couldn't find a female cashier because I was afraid to accidentally touch a male's hand in the exchange of money at checkout.  I struggled with flash backs of the events and would startle easily.  I shut down emotionally and didn't talk about my feelings and prevented myself from being able to feel emotions (sadness as well as happiness and all of the other emotions).  I stopped crying.

If someone trusts you enough to tell you about their abuse, please react responsibly!  Don't over-react or under-react. BELIEVE them!  Help them get help!  The investigators assigned to my case when I was 5 mistook my silence and lack of emotions to mean that I was "handling the situation well."  As a result, when they normally require therapy, they told my parents it would be optional.  My parents, not having a lot of money and trusting the experts that I was "fine," chose to not get me therapy.  For the next 12 years, I suffered in silent agony.  I had attempted to talk to my dad about it a few years after the abuse, and the look of pain and shock on his face when I brought it up was enough to silence me for many more years to come because I thought that I had said a very bad thing and should never say anything about it again.  I hit a breaking point my junior year of high school because of a male teacher who did not appropriately handle himself around his female students.  I was desperate enough to bring up my suffering.  I started working on convincing myself that I can live with the scars and not let my abuse continue to dictate my life, and things did improve somewhat.  My final breaking point was my sophomore year of college (15 years after my abuse) when I saw a man who looked and acted like my abuser, and I had an emotional breakdown.  Thankfully, I got professional help, and with trauma based, Biblical counseling, I learned that God could heal my scars completely and make me whole again, and that's just what He did!  I don't fault my parents in the least for what they did or didn't do.  They simply acted as best as they knew how.  However, I want my experience to help others not have to suffer for as long as I did.  I want people to realize the importance of getting therapy as soon as possible so that they can learn to live a happy and fulfilled life despite their trauma and abuse.

If you haven't had a serious talk with your children about appropriate and inappropriate touch and their private areas remaining private, please take time to talk to them today!  The information can be simplified even for a preschooler.  Don't let ignorance leave your child susceptible to sexual abuse!

1. Learn the facts
2. Minimize opportunities
3. Talk about child sexual abuse
4. Recognize the signs
5. React responsibly