The Expectation-Breaker

 An oppressive government, civil unrest, harsh rules and expectations, religious divisions, and silence from God.

Sound familiar? This was the setting in Israel at the time of Christ's birth.  Surprised?  How fitting that we go into this Advent season with similar circumstances.  However, we aren't faced with the silence of 400 years from hearing God's Words because we have His Word in written script rather than having to rely on the prophets.

As I reflect on the meaning of God's birth and reflect on my current circumstances, I am struck anew by many different thoughts related to Christ's remarkable birth.  For one, Christ was foretold to be the King from David's line (2 Samuel 7:12-13) and Savior of Israel (Isaiah 52-53) and that his glory and splendor would be seen (Isaiah 35:2).  It's only natural to assume then that this Savior King would be born in a palace with great fanfare and celebration, right?  Well, that's not what God had in mind.  Instead of a royal entrance, Jesus made his entrance into this world in a dirty cave in Bethlehem (town predicted in Micah 5:2) to a mother who was a virgin (fulfilling Isaiah 7:14) and a father who wasn't even his father by blood but who would eventually marry Jesus' mother and giving Jesus the heritage of being from the line of David.  Jesus' parents, who were from Nazareth in Galilee, "just happened" to have to make a trip to Bethlehem, Joseph's town of origin for a census decreed by Caesar Augustus. The cattle shelter held no glory or splendor fit for a King.  A manger (feeding trough) was Jesus' bed.  Born in the night unbeknownst to the world, God in flesh dwelt among His people (John 1).  Instead of letting all of the important Jewish rulers know of such an important birth, God chose to first alert shepherds, who in their day, were the low-lifes, the outcasts, the filthy people with whom townspeople, not to mention people of important standing, didn't want to associate.  After receiving the grandest birth announcement ever, these shepherds were tasked to find the baby, which then led to the first Gospel movement carried out by these local outcasts (Luke 2 8-20).  

This was only the beginning of the rules and expectations that Jesus would set out to break.   He didn't have a life of fanfare and money like a king would, and he grew up in an insignificant town of Nazareth in Galilee, a poorer region of Israel.  As Jesus began His ministry, He sought out fishermen, also considered lowlifes of the day, to be His disciples (Matthew 4:18-22).  He then proceeded to minister to the sick, demon possessed, poor, and handicapped -- all outcasts of the day.  He didn't just speak to these people, but he touched them, loved them, hugged them, and made them feel cared for deeply.  Jesus was a living example of what it means to love one's neighbor.  He didn't care about what others thought; no one was too insignificant to be noticed; and he was intentional, acting with purpose.  Flash forward to today, I am grieved by what I see around me during this time of a pandemic where some Christians are hiding in their homes fearing a virus that has a 99.7% recovery rate for people 47 and younger or who claim they are staying in their homes to "love their neighbor."  Leprosy was a very contagious disease of Jesus' day.  People who had it were quarantined in certain areas outside of towns to keep them separate from people to help prevent the spread of the disease.  Did Jesus stay away from them to love His neighbor? No, he moved toward them, he touched them, touch - something they hadn't felt in probably a very long time!  No person was too worthless or hopeless for Jesus.  He didn't come to this world to care for the healthy but the sick (Luke 5:31)!  

Each one of us is sick.  We are all dying of a wicked, evil soul. We are all lost living in the Kingdom of Self (Paul Tripp uses this phrase, and I like it!).  This baby King came to tear down our Kingdoms of Self.  The Jews expected Jesus to become their physical King overturning the oppressive Roman government.  However, Jesus came to be the King in our hearts, overthrowing the King of Self and replacing it with His loving, grace and mercy-filled reign.  We all need this Baby King to save us from death!  For those of us who have found Christ, we have been saved, but while we remain on this Earth in our mortal bodies, we have a battle waging within us of our new and righteous spirit and our old and sinful flesh.  Sadly, often, our old flesh gets the better of us.  Our enemy Satan, prowls around looking to devour us, his former possession (I Peter 5:8).  He attacks us and tempts us and aids our flesh in winning the battle.  I see such strong evidences of him at work today dividing churches and dividing families over how to handle this virus.  He's winning by leaps and bounds!  So, should we throw our hands up in defeat because we've already lost?  No, we are more than conquerors through Christ (Romans 8:35-39).  He can give us the victory if we look to Him for strength and help.  How did Peter walk across the raging waters of the Sea of Galilee?  Was it by looking at his hopeless circumstances? No, the moment he did, he began to sink!  He walked by keeping his eyes on Jesus and reaching for His hand to help him (Matthew 14:22-36).  We need to stop looking at the circumstances around us -- the dangers of the virus, the numbers of cases or deaths, the bleak predictions, etc. and start looking to Christ seeking to glorify Him even in this dark time.  If we take Jesus' example through His life on this Earth, we shouldn't be staying locked inside.  We should be out seeking to minister to the many people hurting during this time.  People have lost income and jobs and loved ones and freedoms and health and school and hope...the list could go on.  What people need right now is the Hope of the World, whose advent we celebrate during this season.  How will they hear unless people tell them (Romans 10:14-15)?  We as believers are called to be Gospel-bearers (Matthew 28:19-20), and it's quite difficult for us to follow our calling if we hide indoors.  I'm not saying every believer needs to be out and about, for there are some who are at high risk, such as those of old age or many health concerns, who may need to stay home, but they shouldn't remain home fearing that the virus should find them.  They should be the praying saints flooding God's throne of grace with prayers for those out and about as they share the Gospel with those around them.

What many believers have quickly lost sight of in these days is that God is sovereign.  No matter how careful we are to abide by the "scientific" guidelines or even if we choose to shelter in place, if God's will is for us to contract or even die from COVID, there is no where we can hide and no bubble strong enough to protect us.  We've lost sight of the fact that God is God and that we cannot thwart His plans.  We need to be wise in our actions but continue the work God has called us to do trusting Him for the outcome.  Who can add a single hour to his life (Luke 12:22-31)? Our life is not guaranteed us.  We do not know when our hour of death will be.  God calls us to live life to our fullest doing everything to the glory of God (I Corinthians 10:31).  That means that we need to stop living like we are already dead (like so many are currently doing) and get back to living the life we have.  Are you afraid to spend Christmas with family for fear that germs may find you?  If you knew this would be your last Christmas together as a family, would that change your mind?  If you knew your grandmother would die of a heart attack next month, would you give her a hug now? What if you already have failing health, and death is more of a reality to you?  Do you want to spend your few remaining days isolated from family, never seeing your grandkids, or having a family member give you a hug? Life is fragile, and it can be over in an instant.  We need to live with this perspective and seize the day, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil (Ephesians 5:15-16).  Live faithfully so that when God calls you home, you will hear him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant" (Matthew 25: 21, 23).

Back to this humble Baby in a manger.  What kind of a man will He become? For one, he will become a rule breaker when it comes to tearing down the superfluous, extraneous Jewish laws created by the Scribes and Pharisees.  Jesus made it really clear where He stood as far as their hypocritical beliefs, words, and actions (see the 7 Woes in Matthew 23).  He followed God's laws!  He is a proclaimer of truth even when it means He loses popularity or risks His life. He calls people out when they are wrong (and yet does it without sinning -- something I can't emulate very well yet!).  He will become a man who knows when to speak and act (Matthew 21:12-13, for example) and when to remain silent (Trial of Jesus: Matthew 27:1-31; Mark 15:1-20; Luke 23:1-25; John 18:28-19:16).   

What will He do?  He will bring God's kingdom to Earth by building it in the hearts of the people God calls to Himself in preparation for building a new heaven and earth where God's Kingdom reigns forever and ever.  He, as the second Adam, will lay down His life on the cross to be crucified (the most humiliating and cursed way to die) so that he can close the gap between God and man that was created by the first Adam when he brought sin into the world.  He crushed the head of the serpent (Genesis 3:15), Satan, the holder of death. What does this mean?  The Kingdom of Self has been demolished.  I am not my own!  I have been bought with a price, therefore, I am not a slave of men (I Corinthians 7:23), nor I am a slave to sin (Romans 6:15-23)!  The curse of sin has been reversed!  I have been set free and have the promise of eternal life!  I no longer have the fear of death (Hebrews 2:14-15).  We as believers can all share Paul's perspective on death, which was ever before him during his ministry: "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or death.  For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:20-21).

His birth brought the Kingdom of God to this earth, His death made it possible for God's Kingdom to dwell in the hearts of His people, and His resurrection gave way to His eternal Kingdom coming in fullness with his Second Coming.  In the already-not-yet period, God gave the gift of His Holy Spirit to speak truth into our hearts and guide our footsteps.  We need to seek and listen to His voice!  God also gave the gift of the Church, His body in which Christ is the head.  We are made up of many members, each with his own gifts and function within the larger body.  If we function independently of each other, we fail, because we were meant to be one.  In our day today, churches are torn apart by differing political views and views on the virus.  Satan has very successfully got us off track by making us take our eyes of Christ and forget our purpose as a church within our body and outside of our body.  We are called into the world to be witnesses of the greatness of God serving others being the hands and feet of God Himself.  It's pretty hard to accomplish that locked inside, though.  We are called to edify one another and build each other up; sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to speak the truth of God's Word into each other's heart; bear each other's burdens (kind of hard to do that over Zoom); spur one another on toward love and good deeds; and most importantly not forsake the assembling of ourselves together or partaking of the Lord's Supper until Christ's return (Hebrews 10:23-26).  If we are going to be effective witnesses in this world, we need to present a united front.  So, there are different perspectives and viewpoints - that's ok!  We are a diverse body, and that helps to keep us searching the Scriptures and the conviction of the Holy Spirit.  We can agree to disagree and love those who think differently.  How many of the apostles and missionaries of old disagreed on certain points (read Acts for a few examples)?  We can agree on the essentials of the faith and let everything else be of less importance.  We do need to be a functioning church, though, active in the work to which we are called.  I know some great men and women of the faith, who have needed to use more caution during this time, who have taken the time at home to be prayer warriors, praying faithfully and intently and sending notes to encourage others.  There are tasks for all members of Christ's body, and no matter what side you fall on, you need to be loving your brothers and sisters in the faith continuing to build them up and point them to Christ, finding creative ways to love them.  Stop jumping to conclusions and judging one another's actions and motives.  It's so easy to think that someone seemingly not following recommendations is a rebel and someone adhering to the recommendations is a fearful coward.  That's simply not the case!  It's not our place to judge!  It's our place to LOVE!  After all, that's why we celebrate this Advent season - LOVE came down and dwelt among us (John 1:14, 3:16)!

This Advent season, Satan is working overtime to discourage, depress, quiet/distort the Gospel, and divide churches and families.  Don't give him fuel!  Christ crushed his head once!  Stand with Christ and be victorious over the attacks of the devil.  Let peace rule in your hearts and reign on this Earth this Christmas.  The World has never needed God's love and peace more! Praise God that Christ was an expectation-breaker!  Praise God that because Jesus came as a baby, Immanuel--"God with us"--(Matthew 1:23) has come to us.  Praise God that because Jesus was born, our Kingdoms of Self could be destroyed!  Go and live in the freedom Christ's life and death and resurrection accomplished for you, and share the Good News to all who will listen!  There is much to celebrate this Advent season!

Living in the Desert

This weekend, I have been attending a women's retreat where the theme has been "Christ, Our Living Water," and the discussion of the sessions has been centered around desert living in this life and how to allow Christ, our Living Water, to satisfy us and reshape us into His image.  Everything shared and discussed and sung has been just what I needed.

Throughout the retreat, I have been reminded that a desert is a place where more moisture is lost than what is brought in.  It's a place where you can be burned to death during the day and frozen to death by night.  As an analogy, it's a place where we are out of control and can't help ourselves, but it's a place where God is tangible.  Taking the example of God's presence with the people of Israel in the desert wilderness, God was their shade by day in the form of a cloud and their warmth by night in the form of fire.  He was their meat from the sky and bread from the ground.  He provided their water.

God was the Living Water for the Israelites shaping them into the people he wanted them to be. They fought against Him.  God was not the God they wanted but the God they needed.  Every time they grumbled about Him or their circumstances, He rose to the occasion and provided for their needs despite the fact that they didn't ask nicely.  In the wilderness, God gave them His covanental law in which His first command and the sign of the covenant was REST because "I am the LORD."  He made the Israelites rely on Him on a daily basis by providing Manna that would only sustain them for that day.  If they tried to worry about their tomorrow and take extra manna for the next day, it would be filled with maggots by the morning.  However, God allowed them to collect for the next day before their day of rest because God desired their rest.  God taught His people in the desert that God is enough.  What the Israelites lost sight of is that on the other side of their desert and hardship was freedom, and instead, they longed to return to their slavery.  I was struck by that thought and how often I try to fight against the desert place God has me in and long to go back to the day when I too was bound in slavery of self and sin.  I too forget that on the other side of my desert and hardship is freedom where my heavenly oasis awaits.

Just as the physical water God provided the Israelites in the desert wasn't enough to stop the Israelites from complaining or help them trust God, so too I need more than physical water to sustain me in my desert and keep me from wanting to go back.  Jesus' promise to me from John 7:37-38 is that if I am thirsty, I can come to Him to drink, and if I believe in Him, "streams of living water will flow from within [me]."  I want to gush with His living water.  Just as Jesus offered the woman at the well living water, He offers me the same.  This God-man at the well is the one who fought for Jacob and Israel and me because He loves me.

Two scientific principles of water is that water always wins, and water always makes a way.  Christ, my Living Water, makes a way in my life.  God's love is steadfast -- stubborn, unyielding.  He becomes the water I need.  My sin is stubborn, but not as stubborn as God's love.  His water will continue to flow into my life carving me and reshaping me until I am perfectly in His image when I finally see Him face to face.  John Piper said in a devotional that God "is the end of our quest for satisfaction."  God's Living Water is enough for me in my desert living.

Reflect on the truths of the Getty song "Living Waters" we used as our theme song, which so perfectly brings these lessons home:

Are you thirsty
Are you empty
Come and drink these living waters
Tired and broken
Peace unspoken
Rest beside these living waters
Christ is calling
Find refreshing
At the cross of living waters
Lay your life down
All the old gone
Rise up in these living waters  

Chorus:
There’s a river that flows
With mercy and love
Bringing joy to the city of our God
There our hope is secure
Do not fear anymore
Praise the Lord of living waters

Spirit moving
Mercy washing
Healing in these living waters
Lead your children
To the shore line
Life is in these living waters  

CHORUS
Are you thirsty
Are you empty
Come and drink these living waters
Love, forgiveness
Vast and boundless
Christ, He is our living waters 

CHORUS

— WORDS AND MUSIC BY KRISTYN GETTY AND ED CASH©2016 GETTY MUSIC PUBLISHING (BMI) / ALLETROP MUSIC (BMI) (ADMIN BY MUSICSERVIES.ORG)

Photo from Cover of Retreat Booklet from Brick Lane Community Church

A Weary World Rejoices

Peace, Joy, Love, Good News, Hope—all are typical salutations and greetings that get tossed around as people wish one another Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays—words we so often take for granted yet don’t often take time to think about what they mean.

As another tough year comes to an end for our family, I have had to think very deeply about these words and seek to understand and see their meaning in our current circumstances.  For those who are currently or have recently experienced trials and hardships, these words may fall empty on them as well—perhaps it’s the death of a loved one or loss of a job, maybe it’s a rift in the family, or maybe it’s a serious health issue.  Can these words ring true even for these individuals?  After much reflection on that question along with what I learned from my women’s Bible study on I Peter I went to this Fall, I would emphatically say yes, those words can ring true if that individual is a believer.  Because I am a believer in Jesus Christ, they can ring true for me despite the deep, dark trials that seek to drown me.

PEACE – If you are in the midst of trials, how can you have peace?  We have the promise of Isaiah 26:3: “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”  Jesus gives us peace not as the world gives, but He gives peace so that we don’t have to have hearts that are troubled or afraid (John 14:27).  Philippians 4:5b-7 says: “…the Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  In I Peter 3:11b-12a, Peter reminds us to “seek peace and pursue it.  The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears attend to their prayer.”  He goes on to tell us in 5:7 to “[cast—throw upon, give up to God] all your anxieties on [God], because he cares for us].”  Peter exhorts us throughout his first epistle to be humble in respect to God and all other relationships.  Here in chapter 5, he exhorts us to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God.  If we are humbling ourselves to God, we are giving Him complete control in our lives.  This has been a work in progress for me over this last year as I come to terms with not having control over the situations in my life and that of my family’s.  If I do humble myself and give complete control to God (which He already has whether I want Him to or not), then I can have peace.  I have no need to have anxiety or worry.  Peace is mine in the midst of my trials just as it was to the believers Peter was writing to who were aliens and strangers in a land where they were hiding from persecution.  Jesus came to this earth as a baby so that He can give and leave His peace with us (John 14:27).

JOY – The Bible commands us to REJOICE in suffering (Romans 5:3-4) and consider the various trials we face “pure joy” (James 1:2-4).  Our family is broken and hurting, our relationships are strained, we are filled with sadness and grief.  Why can I have joy in that?  I Peter tells me why:  God has called me out of darkness and into His marvelous light (I Peter 2:5); Christ died for my sins, the just for the unjust, to bring me to God (I Peter 3:18); and Jesus’ blood has removed the stain of my sin so I can stand before Him (I Peter 3:18).  So, I don’t need to be “surprised at the fiery ordeal” but can keep on rejoicing (I Peter 4:12-13).  After I “have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called [me] to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish” me (5:10).  No trial can rob me of the joy that comes through Christ who came to this world as a baby to bring Joy to this world.

LOVE – We know the betrayal of love on many levels, yet we are told to “keep fervent in [our] love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins (I Peter 4:8).  God knew betrayed love.  We were created by Him in His image, yet we left our first love.  We rejected Him and chose sin.  Because of this betrayal, God had to send His only Son to Earth as a baby only to grow up and die for us so that we can be bought back (redeemed) and restored to our first love (justification).  This was love in action.  Jesus laid down His life so that we could live—love that took Him to the cross.  This love continues in the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit in our lives as we are perfected so that one day, we will be glorified when we see God face to face.  I Peter is so rich in reminding us of the love that led to our justification, sanctification, and glorification.

GOOD NEWS – As news we have been receiving about our loved one becomes bleaker and more distressing, we find ourselves doubting that we will ever hear good news.  However, we have Good News in our life because of Christ.  We are “chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father by the sanctifying work of the Spirit, to obey Jesus Christ and be sprinkled with His blood,” which is why Peter can then say, “May grace and peace be yours to the fullest measure.” (I Peter 1:1-2).  Because God chose us, we are “a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession so that [we] may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called [us] out of darkness into His marvelous light” (I Peter 2:9), and we come to Christ as a “living stone…choice and precious in the sight of God” (I Peter 2:4).  The Good News of great joy that the angels came to share with the shepherds was that a Savior, Christ the Lord and God in flesh has been born.  Jesus has come to rescue His people!  As John Piper so eloquently reminded us in his devotional “Christmas Solidarity:”

Christmas is good news for man and good news for God.
"The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners" (I Timothy 1:15).  That’s good news for us.
"The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil" (I John 3:8).  That is also good news for God.”

Jesus came to lead a revolt against Satan.  That revolt started at his birth, and that is GREAT NEWS for us! Mary and Joseph were told to call their Son “Jesus,” “for He will save His people from their sins” and “Immanuel,” which means “God with us” (Matthew 1:21, 23).  We don’t just have Good News, we have GREAT NEWS, and nothing can take that away from us!

HOPE – Life’s circumstances may leave you feeling utterly hopeless at times, but no matter how dark our day or deep our valley, we as believers always have hope.  This hope is the “joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation” (Thayer’s Greek Lexicon).  We are “born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for [us]” (I Peter 1:3b-4).  In this we “greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary [we] have been distressed by various trials so that the proof of [our] faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (I Peter 1:6-7).  Therefore, we can “fix [our] hope [confident and joyful expectation] completely on the grace to be brought to [us] at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (I Peter 1:13b).  Hope that the Jews had in the coming of a Messiah was fulfilled in the birth of the baby Jesus.  Our Hope for salvation began at that same baby’s birth, and we look forward to the day it will be fulfilled at His second coming!

Who knew I Peter could give insight into the blessings of Christmas?  I sure didn’t until I spent these last several months digging deep into the book allowing God to use it to remind me of the peace, joy, love, good news, and hope in Him that I have through Christ.  As you celebrate Christ’s birth this Christmas, I pray you are reminded of the peace, joy, love, good news, and hope you have in Christ, and if you don’t yet have these, I pray that you find this great Savior for yourself so that you too can know and forever have His peace, joy, love, good news, and hope in your life!

Merry Christmas!  God be praised!

The Growth of Summer

I love watching things grow during the summer.  I especially look forward to the growth and production of my organic vegetable garden every year.  Usually, my garden grows out of control, and we are swimming in its harvest and giving plenty of the bounty away because we can't consume, can, or dehydrate it fast enough.  This year in particular has been a very slow year of growth with my garden thanks to a pesty groundhog who gave up digging under the fence and instead goes through the fence and climbs up the raised beds to devour my garden.  I have trapped him once, but Tim inadvertently let him go when the trap door of the trap opened unexpectedly as he lifted up the trap.  Of course, the varmint isn't dumb enough to get trapped twice despite our tempting efforts.  It has been the most frustrating summer of growth that way.

However, there has been good growth in so many other ways this Summer.  Our boys are the most visible growth.  They have shot up so quickly the past few months growing a few inches each with Josh soaring past me in height.  It's been difficult to keep them in clothing!  We have grown as a family as Josh makes progress in his residential treatment, and the family relationship has been given time to heal and improve.  We have been able to go away for 2 week-long vacations spending really special, quality time with David giving him our long-overdue attention and making special memories together without the drama of a brother with Autism.  Tim and I have been able to grow in our marriage relationship having extra time to spend together just the two of us.  Lastly, I have experienced growth of a different kind.

This summer has been a time of spiritual growth for me.  My trust in God has been strengthened as I continue to learn anew (almost daily) that I am not in control of anything--especially my children, but that God is, and that's ok.  As a result, I've grown in my ability to let go and let God.  My love for and marvel of God has grown as I've had a chance to dig deeper into God's Word through a summer women's book/Bible study I was able to participate in bringing a whole new perspective to life and God's sovereignty and gifts.  My hunger to learn God's Word has grown as I've been challenged to memorize passages of Scripture and say them to others in the book study who keep me accountable and memorize verses also.  I've also grown in my experience of and participation in the edification of the Church body as I weekly spent time with some lovely, Godly women at this study.  I didn't realize how hungry and thirsty I was for Christian, female friendship, and being able to satifsy those longings has renewed my spirit.

As the Summer comes to an end, I am so grateful to God for the growth He has given to our family, and especially for the way he has grown His love and care in my heart and life.  I am strengthened and encouraged as I look to the start of another school year with many new and uncertain challenges ahead of our family, because I know the time of growth this summer will help carry me through all that God brings across our path.

Growth this Summer in the sunflower field of Please Wash Me Car Wash in Elverson, PA

Love That Will Never Let Me Go

As I mentioned in my post "Waiting for the Morning," I have been realizing and experiencing the depths of God's love in a deeper and more meaningful way as I walk the current rocky path of trials.  Some songs about God's love have been in my head and heart and often on my voice as I go about my duties day to day helping me to carry on in joy and hope and in the comfort of God's very real and rich love.  God's Love is ENOUGH!  I don't need anything else in this world.

There are no circumstances -- good or bad-- and no places in this world we can find ourselves in where God's love can't reach us.  God's love is an unwavering and all-powerful love that embraces the very essences of our beings, holding us close, and never letting us go.  No matter where you find yourself today, reflect and meditate on God's Wondrous, Deep, Deep Love that will never let you go!

"Oh the Deep, Deep Love" 

By Bob Kauflin 

VERSE 1 

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus 

Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free 

Rolling as a mighty ocean 

In its fullness over me 

Underneath me, all around me 

Is the current of Your love 

Leading onward, leading homeward 

To Your glorious rest above 

CHORUS 

Oh the deep, deep love 

All I need and trust

Is the deep, deep love of Jesus 

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus 

VERSE 2 

Spread His praise from shore to shore 

How He came to pay our ransom 

Through the saving cross He bore 

How He watches o’er His loved ones

Those He died to make His own 

How for them He’s interceding 

Pleading now before the throne 

VERSE 3 

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus 

Far surpassing all the rest 

It’s an ocean full of blessing 

In the midst of every test 

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus 

Mighty Savior, precious Friend 

You will bring us home to glory 

Where Your love will never end 

"O Wondrous Love" 

By Steve and Vicki Cook 

VERSE 1

O wondrous love that will not let me go 

I cling to You with all my strength and soul 

Yet if my hold should ever fail 

This wondrous love will never let me go 

VERSE 2 

O wondrous love that’s come to dwell in me 

Lord who am I that I should come to know 

Your tender voice assuring me 

This wondrous love will never let me go

CHORUS 

I’m resting in the everlasting arms 

In the ever faithful heart 

The Shepherd of my life 

You’ll carry me on Your mighty wings of grace 

Keeping me until the day

 I look into Your eyes 

VERSE 3 

O wondrous love that sings of Calvary 

The sweetest sound this sinner’s ever known 

The song of Your redeeming Son 

Whose wondrous love will never let me go 

VERSE 4

O wondrous love that rushes over me 

I can’t escape this river’s glorious flow

You overwhelm my days with good 

Your wondrous love will never let me go 

"My Redeemer's Love" 

By Joel Sczebel, Jordan Kauflin, Mark Altrogge 

VERSE 1

My Redeemer’s love is deeper 

Than the depths of sin and hell 

He who was enthroned in glory 

Came to bring us to Himself

My Redeemer’s love is wider 

Than the breach my sins had made 

He reached down into my darkness

 He alone has pow’r to save

CHORUS 1

 Deeper than the rolling seas 

Higher than the mountain peaks

 Your love is all I need 

VERSE 2 

My Redeemer’s love is stronger 

Than my fiercest enemies 

He will hold me in the tempest 

Through the flood He carries me 

My Redeemer’s love will lead me 

Through the deepest valley here 

He will shepherd me and guide me 

He will ever keep me near

CHORUS 2 

Deeper than the rolling seas

 Higher than the mountain peaks 

Your love is all I need 

Stronger than the rushing wind 

Shattering the power of sin 

Your love is all I need

VERSE 3 

My Redeemer’s love grows sweeter 

As eternity draws near

 I’ll enjoy His love forever 

At His throne for endless years 

My Redeemer’s love will fill me 

On the day I see His face

I will love Him back forever 

And forever sing His praise

Learning to be Content

Last month, I had the pleasure and blessing of attending a women's retreat where I was truly ministered to through the sessions digging into God's Word and exposing our obsessions with self and comfort that are preventing us from flourishing.  The music was also so spiritually challenging and was so cohesive with the truths being presented and did a great job pointing us to God reminding us of his sovereignty, love, and care.

As I had mentioned in my blog post "Waiting for the Morning," God has been convicting me of my lack of contentment.  The depths of my discontentment were exposed at this women's retreat.  The speaker at the retreat was author and Crossway editor Lydia Brownback, and each women was given one of her devotional books she has written on various topics.  The book I happened to get was on Contentment.  I laughed at God's sovereignty in that when I simply chose the packet in which the book was beautifully tucked based on the green cover I saw (my favorite color is green).

I have been meditating on the devotionals since then and working hard to be content on a daily basis.  I have far to go, but I am making progress and experiencing greater daily joy as a result in a shift in my focus--upward not inward or outward.

When comparing the present to the past and future, Lydia says, "[The present] is better because God is the one who brought us where we are today.  And the God who led us here is good, kind, and let's not forget, purposeful.  Everything he does in our lives, everywhere he leads us, is designed to fulfill his primary intention for us, which is to know him better.  Contentment does not lie around the next corner.  It is not waiting for us on the other side of today's difficulty, nor is it lost with yesterday.  Contentment is where God is, and God is with us today" (Contentment by Lydia Brownback, p. 24).

Earlier in the book, Lydia says, "Contentment in the valleys comes when we stop fighting so hard to climb out.  God is the one who leads us into the valleys, and he will lead us back out in his time.  God ordains valleys for our good; why else would a good and kind God allow them?  Trusting God in our hard times is the way to contentment--not just trusting him to get us out, but trusting his goodness while we are still in them" (Contentment by Lydia Brownback, p. 16).

The truths of these words were enough to knock the wind out of me and make me really reflect on how I was living my day to day life.  I have continued to trust God in the hard times.  I learned from an early age of trials to not let difficulties rob me of my trust in God.  However, what I have been failing to do is look at the hard times through the lens that God would have me view them.  I am not content in the hard times.  I am often distracted with praying for them to end quickly and waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel that I don't realize what God is doing in me in the moment.  After all, James 1:2-4, 12 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything...Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him."  The process within the trials has purpose, and I am missing that truth too often because I am too busy fighting the process!

Hebrews 13:5b says to "be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."  Going back to the phrases I find myself saying often these days: "God is ENOUGH!"  or "God's God this!"  I conclude as this verse promises -- God is with me, and He will never let me go.  As I shared one of my favorite songs in my post "Waiting for the Morning," God will hold me fast.  I CAN be content in being kept in His wondrous care just as Paul says in Philippians 4:12-13, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

Many of you are aware of the current situation with our oldest especially if you have read my post "Learning to Let it All Go."  Things with him continue to get more difficult, and he is becoming more hardened toward God and his faith in Him.  We are very concerned about his spiritual state.  Our prayers are often pleas with God to hold onto his heart and not let him go.

I read Jen Wilkin's book None Like Him last Fall.  It's a book that digs deeply into the incommunicable attributes of God and how we often vainly try to take on those attributes ourselves.  That book totally changed the depth of how I view God and his majesty and awesomeness and convicted me in so many ways.  I turn back to that book frequently to be reminded of who God is and who I am.  Not too long ago, as we were really struggling with our concerns about Josh's spiritual state and current rebellion against God, this statement by Jen jumped out at me: "We cannot create hope where there is hopelessness...We cannot create repentance where there is unrepentance, but we can cry out to the God who can." I can be content that I am resting in the one and only Self-existent, Creator-God who is fully capable in continuing His miraculous work of redemption and sanctification not only in my life but in my son's life as well.

Tim and I spend some time each night having devotions together as a couple.  As part of our devotions, we use the Tabletalk devotional booklet.  I love what Dr. James Harvey III said in his devotional for May 5-6 called "Rediscovering Contentment," and I have made his statement my resolve:  "I am going to lead the life the Lord has assigned to me, the life to which God has called me.  I am going to find satisfaction and joy in Christ, whether in a season of trial or blessing" (p. 37).

Letting Faith Rest in the Power of God

As our date of departure for our family missions trip draws ever nearer, and the final plans are made, I found myself feeling more and more nervous about bringing our oldest on the trip with us due to his continued mood instability.  I feared for his safety with the way he was acting not to mention that I worried about how his behavior would be looked upon by the people in that culture.  I was praying that God would help him to become stable again, but it seemed that each day, there were only more problems rather than fewer.  I began doubting our decision and whether or not God wanted us to bring our son with us.  On top of that, I wrestled with the fact that the country we were headed to had fewer than 1% of the population who were Christians and there really wasn't a model for what a Christian family should look like in that culture except what the pastors and their families are presenting as they blaze the trail raising Christian families.  Part of my vision for the trip was that we could let the people there see what an American Christian family looks like.  However, with the way our oldest was behaving, that idea would be a disaster because we'd only show them how truly broken we really are.  I worried about showing that side.

I expressed my concern in a discussion with Tim who stated that it's not our mission to present to them a "perfect" Christian family.  It's our mission to be with them in body and Spirit encouraging and ministering to each other.  That's what a partnership is all about.  Through the ministry of one another, God builds His Church.  I was thankful for Tim's insight, input, and decision that we are going as a complete family no matter what.

The next day, in reading an excerpt from a meditations book written by missionaries with Josh, I had to smile at God's providence at the passage of Scripture and following reflection about that passage because it was just what I needed to read and meditate upon in my heart.

I Corinthians 2:1-5:  And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.

God has this trip already worked out.  He has my son's stability under His control.  He's the one who called us to do this trip as a family, and He's the one doing amazing things to make this trip possible.  He has called us to be lights and bring the Gospel to all peoples making disciples.  We do that by presenting Christ in our brokenness.  We don't want to be making converts of the Russell Kingdom.  We want to make converts of Christ's Kingdom.  What better way to do that but through our own brokenness and desperate need for a Savior.  May these dear people we fellowship with see Christ and Christ alone in our broken lives and may all of the honor and glory go to Him who sustains us and gives us the strength to finish each day through His great and mighty power.

Interestingly enough, as soon as I embraced this new way of thinking, things calmed down in our household, and our son has seen the most stability yet since things got rough in December.  Perhaps God just needed to get my attention and teach me a lesson and grow my faith!  To God be the glory!

No Matter the Cost

As our family missions trip draws ever nearer, we are busy making plans and ironing out details and making reservations.  We are excitedly sharing our plans and desires for our trip with friends and family and asking for prayer and financial support.  We are also, more importantly, trying to mentally and spiritually prepare ourselves for the weeks ahead and the actual trip as we know that we "do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12).

In my own personal preparations, I just finished reading the book The Insanity of God: A True Story of Faith Resurrected by Nik Ripken, which has been a HUGE blessing to me personally and a significant spiritual growth stimulator in my own life.  This book has incredible stories of Christians who suffered through significant persecution yet kept their faith and had God do amazing work in and through their lives and/or deaths. I have been reminded through these stories and lessons the author learned through his conversations with these believers that God doesn't call us to go and make disciples to areas that are safe.  He simply calls us to GO (Matthew 28:19-20).  At the same time, Jesus warned his disciples and us that the world will hate us and persecute us (John 15).  We are reminded by the Apostle Paul that we are crucified with Christ and no longer live but instead, Christ lives in us (Galatians 2:20).  He reminds us that we should desire to "know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of his sufferings, becoming like him in his death" (Philippians 3:10).

When we decided to do this family missions trip, we knew the risks we would be taking in going to a country suffering from unrest and where our dear sisters and brothers in Christ suffer various forms of persecution for their faith.  One of the churches we will be worshiping in is on terrorist group hit lists.  In a country with less than 1% Christians, it can get very lonely for believers, and the temptation to lose faith is great.  On the flip side, the opportunity for faith to grow and be ever resilient is greater for them than it is for us here in the comforts of our freedoms and our assumption of safety.  We want to go and minister to and encourage these dear saints.  At the same time, we hope to be challenged spiritually by their faith and learn to be ever faithful in the midst of suffering.  We want our fellowship with the believers to be a time of edification for them and us alike as we bear each others burdens and sharpen one another helping each other to be more like Christ so that through our lives more people will be led to Christ.  Isn't that the Gospel in action?

Some of our well-meaning friends and family have asked us whether or not we are truly being wise and thinking about our boys in choosing to take them into a dangerous area.  While we appreciate their care and concern for our family's well-being and safety, we have to follow God's calling in this area.  We have discussed with the boys the risks and allowed them to have the final say in whether or not they think it's worth it, and they are 100% behind this and so very eager to go.  We truly believe God has called us to do this, and He has been confirming this call in so many different ways (some even miraculous!) since we made this decision.  God hasn't called us to do this to put us in danger.  He has promised to be with us "always, to the very end of the age (Matthew 28:20).  Our lives (and our boys' lives) are not our own -- they have been bought with a price, and hence, we must glorify God with our bodies (I Corinthians 6:19-20).  Our lives are nothing to us, and like Paul, our desire is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord has given us - testifying to the Gospel of God's grace (Acts 20:24)!  We have been reminded by a dear friend from this area that we are truly "bullet-proof"!  No bullet will take our lives or wound us unless it was God's ordained "bullet" because His work in us on this earth is complete or He has greater plans for us.

Are there fears and concerns?  Sure, we are, after all, human!  What's greater is God's call on our lives to take up His cross and follow Him and carry out the Great Commission wherever He leads us - right here in Elverson, PA right now and in other places near and far away as He directs our steps.

This great God whom we serve sacrificed His own Son's life through a terrible, painful death on the cross so that our sins could be wiped clean, and we could once and for all have right standing before God and a home in His presence for all eternity.  He intricately formed us in our mother's wombs giving us the breath of life and ordaining all of our days.  He made us His children when we were filthy in our sins unable to desire Him.  He has walked with us through our various struggles in this life and has never failed us.  He comforts us with His Word and His church universal.  He strengthens us and showers us with His grace to survive each day He has planned for us.  This is love too great for me to comprehend!

As Isaac Watts penned in his great hymn "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross," "Were the whole realm of nature mine, that were a present far too small; love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all."  No matter the cost, I give my life and the lives of my boys to our great God!  Here I stand.  I can do no other!

The Greatest Valentine

As I left the house yesterday morning on Valentine's Day heading to work, I enjoyed the Valentine God sent me in the form of a beautiful sunrise.  The sky was painted in the most brilliant and vibrant pink colors.  As my eyes drank in the beauty of God's Valentine for me at that moment, it made me think about how God has given me the Greatest Valentine in the form of His precious Son and all of the lavish gifts He has given me since His Son.

His love for me was poured out as Jesus' blood ran down his body as He hung on the cross innocent of any wrong-doing but bearing my filthy sins on His body and taking my punishment.

His love is poured out for me when He sees me as holy and just because He sees me through His victorious and Holy Son.

His love is poured out for me on a daily basis as he sovereignly controls my daily events to make me more like Him.  Even the mundane tasks that demand my time and attention are a result of His love.

His love is poured out for me through the many blessings He gives me when I deserve only punishment.

His love is poured out for me in the grace He gives me as I walk through the waters and the fires of life's trials that only make me come out more refined as gold.

His love is poured out for me when I daily open His Word - His Love Letter to me - to hear from Him, learn more about Him, and grow to be like Him.  Yesterday, I stumbled upon the verse Zephaniah 3:17 and was awed by the demonstration of love in it.  As God, He has every right to damn me to eternal hell, but yet, instead of rebuking me, He chooses to REJOICE OVER ME with SINGING!  After all of the countless times I have held my precious boys close to my heart and sang over them to comfort them, to make them happy, to help them know they were loved, my great God does the same thing to me!  What an amazing thought!

His love is poured out for me when I spend time in prayer fellowshipping with him, praising Him, and lifting requests before His powerful throne of grace.

His love is poured out for me through the love of my husband who works so hard to provide for me, pitches in around the house to make my life easier, and loves our boys.

His love is poured out for me through my two boys as He molds and shapes their hearts, as they give me hugs and kisses, and as I clean up after them.

His love is poured out for me through the joy I get from music whether it's playing the piano, singing, helping my boys with their instrument practices, or simply listening to worship music.

His love is poured out for me through the friends who take time to notice, to pray, to spend time with me, to lend a helping hand.

His love is poured out for me through the chances to be the Gospel in someone's life and to see the universal church grow and flourish.

Yep, I have the greatest Valentine ever, and He is my great God!  The most amazing and wonderful thing is that He can be yours too!  If He is not already your Valentine, make Him yours today!  I'd love to help you do just that if you don't know how!

Voting and Setting an Example for the Next Generation

Today, I exercised my rights as a citizen of the United States, and I took the time to do it with David to teach him the value of exercising his rights as a citizen. I used the experience today to discuss with the boys at dinner why we vote and why we chose the candidates that we did.  We used it as an opportunity to also teach them many lessons that I pray will help them succeed in life and glorify God in the process.  It is my duty as their parent to set an example for them in the way they should go in life.

Here are some of the things we discussed today:

1. We need to measure what is right and what is wrong by God's standards found in the Bible.
2. Sometimes doing the right thing means going against the crowd and doing what is unpopular or even scorned upon by peers.
3. When voting, vote on principle and conscience after much prayer and consideration.
4. Two wrongs have never made a right, and nor will they ever!  Evil is still evil even if less.
5. Voting is a way to make your voice heard no matter who you vote for because your vote tells those looking at the statistics who and what you stand for in your choice.
6. You can be content and at peace in your vote and the outcome because God is always in control, and He's the one who puts people into power and takes them out of power.  The outcome has already been ordained by God.  There is no fear of the future!
7. Voting is a right that should be exercised by citizens who are blessed with that right.  
8. Voting is a personal decision.  You need to respect other people's opinions and choices and let God do the work in individual hearts.  You can speak your heart with grace, but leave the persuading and moving of hearts to God.  Act and speak like Christ in all things.  You are His representative and light in this dark and evil world.  
9. No matter who wins the election tonight, we must honor that person and give him or her the respect the position deserves because God put him/her in that power and God's Word commands us to respect those in authority over us.  We are also commanded to pray for our President, so we must commit that person to prayer and pray that God would direct and lead working out His perfect will in and through him/her.  

Leading by Example

This election season is very complex and is becoming extremely divisive.  It's actually been hard to stomach at times.  From what I can deduct from all that I read on Facebook and hear presented in the media, neither of the main candidates are desired by either party, but many people are choosing to vote for a particular candidate based on the philosophy of the "lesser of 2 evils."

I refuse to fall into that trap.  Why? For one, I choose to vote for a candidate that I feel will help to make America a better country.  I personally believe both of our primary candidates will only do damage to our nation.  If you look at the definition of the word "vote," you will find this:  "a formal expression of opinion or choice, either positive or negative, made by an individual or body of individuals" and this "to express or signify will or choice in a matter, as by casting a ballot."  I think this is a great statement about voting:  "The ability to vote allows citizens to say their opinion and choice on a variety of issues. In the American political system, voting allows registered citizens to cast their choice for the political leader that they believe can accurately make the choices that will better the country" (http://borgenproject.org/voting-is-important/).  When I vote on election day, I am expressing my opinion and choice.  If my opinion/choice goes against what I believe is right and important, then I am being a hypocrite because I am expressing my opinion/choice which differs from my beliefs.  I refuse to be a double standard person.

Consider these quotes from men of old which I feel so adequately represent my own belief:

Images from http://buckyboymike.blogspot.com/2016/07/a-vote-of-conscience.html

Here are 3 thoughts I have about this situation:

1. What if every voter voted for principle in this election?  Considering all who I have heard state that they don't like either of the primary candidates, if each of those people voted for principle instead of the lesser of two evils, they would make a collective statement to both parties that they need to present better candidates in the future.  This could drastically effect change in our broken party system.  Our votes for another person, while probably not enough to elect a third party or other candidate, would speak loudly to bring about change.  However, we will continue in the ridiculous state that we are in because only a few people will oppose it by changing their vote.  I will place my vote for a third party/other candidate to make a statement to Lord-willing effect change in our broken system.
2. Like the quotes state above, I value voting for principle, voting with my conscience, and voting in a way that will be right and honorable before God and my country.  There are some virtues and beliefs that I am not willing to compromise on when it comes to voting for a political leader, a church leader, or someone else in an elected position of authority.  These are important to me, and most are convictions from the Holy Spirit.  To deny these convictions would be to deny the Holy Spirit and my conscience.  I refuse to do that.  I will stand firm to my beliefs and convictions in all aspects of my life.
3. Someone shared a political cartoon on a conversation thread on my Facebook page in response to my statement that I refuse to vote for either of the 2 primary candidates.  This is it:
   
    This is so ridiculous in so many ways!  By NOT voting for someone, I am NOT leading to loss of rights!  For one, God is the one who raises up and takes down rulers from their high positions--not my vote!  God is the one who governs people's actions and choices leading to rights gained or lost.  He is sovereign.  He is in total control.  The biggest thing that totally bothers me about that cartoon is the insinuation that I am being a bad parent if I don't vote against someone by voting for someone.  As a parent, it is my duty to train my children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  That means teaching them to make wise choices in the midst of difficult circumstances.  It means helping them to decipher what is right and wrong.  It means teaching them not to give in to peer pressure or to follow the crowd for the wrong reasons.  It means helping them to value making a difference and effecting change.  It means helping them live lives that are not guilty of double standards or hypocrisy.  It means helping them listen to the Holy Spirit rather than fears.  It means encouraging them to pray about their decisions and study God's Word to determine their beliefs.  I can't do this just by telling them what to do or pounding Scripture into their heads.  I do this by leading by example--showing them through my life and choices that these are important qualities to instill in their own lives and that it's possible to have these qualities in this life.  If I don't lead by example, I will fail!  As I go into the polling booth, I will lead by example showing my kids that I hold to my principles and standards, that I vote for people that I feel can lead our country in the right way, and that I can do so without being hypocritical or compromising my beliefs.  No matter what circumstances my children find themselves in as adults, I pray that their lives will be reflective of the way I trained them and led by example so that they can deal with the good and bad circumstances of life that are a direct result of God's plans for their good and His glory (not some vote I made years before!).

As you go to the polls this November, I pray that you will choose to vote based on conviction and conscience.  If you can do so and vote for one of the 2 primary candidates, then good for you.  If you are voting for one of those 2 candidates going against your convictions and conscience, perhaps you need to do a little more soul searching before you make your vote.  Make your vote count for the right reasons!

God Moves in a Mysterious Way

In discussing our sermon passage in Romans 11 this past Sunday, our pastor mentioned the hymn "God Moves in a Mysterious Way" by William Cowper.  I absolutely love the hymn, and since our pastor mentioned it, I have yet to get it out of my head and have been going through my days singing it over and over.  It's a good thing because it's a good reminder for me as I push through my days of being a "single parent" to our two special needs boys while my husband Tim is out of town.

I have seen the mysterious ways God has worked throughout my life and even just within this week:

• In a week that was set up to be difficult with Tim out of town, I needed the reminder that God is sovereign.  Juggling my two days of work as a nurse without having Tim home to take care of the boys and our normal afternoon childcare arrangements for Tuesdays; caring for the boys without Tim's help when both boys struggle with anxiety and related behaviors from having Tim gone; caring for the household responsibilities on my own; continuing to battle with therapy services for Josh; etc. -- I am surviving, and so far things are going better than I had anticipated with only two more days of being alone to go.  Part of what has gotten me through is singing this hymn and remembering God's sovereign control over my life and our daily circumstances.
• In  my own personal devotions this week, I have been reminded of God's sovereignty.  As I read through Job, I see it very clearly.  Bad things happen to good people.  Life can be difficult and full of heart-wrenching troubles.  Friends fail us. Our broken justice system acts unjustly.  Disasters lurk at every corner.  Job didn't curse God and kill himself like his unhelpful wife had suggested even after losing his wealth, his family, his means of income, his friends, and his health.  Instead he chose to praise God, ask God some deep questions from his heart, and conclude that when he comes through his trials, he will come forth as gold.  No matter what I face in life, God has ordained each and every thing - from the deepest, darkest trials to the mountain top experiences.  I can live each day confidently knowing that I remain in God's capable hands and nothing today will happen outside of God's control and plan.  I may not see His purposes clearly, but I know that He will work His sovereign will performing His wonders daily in my life.  I can put away my anxious fears and live in the moment all for God's glory!

Because I love the song so much and because I couldn't get it out of my head anyway, I decided to take some time for myself today, reflecting on God's sovereignty and glory, and record a video of this hymn for others to enjoy the truths of those great words!  Forgive the poor audio and the piano that needs to be tuned.  I recorded it on my voice memo app on my ipod while I played the piano and sang. :-)

When the Shoe Drops

We have been enjoying increased mood stability ever since we started using essential oils for Josh back in March 2014.  Things have been going incredibly well, considering his diagnoses.  In December, we started him on all-natural supplements made with essential oils and saw an even increased improvement and a transformation in him that we never thought was possible not to mention a new side of him that we didn't know even existed.  We've been on an emotional high since December glorying in the calmer, less stressful, and peaceful days.

However, part of me has been continually looking around me waiting for the shoe to drop.  Knowing Bi-polar is not a disease that can be cured (not to mention neither are Autism or Generalized Anxiety disorders), I always knew it couldn't stay this good forever.

Well, the shoe has finally dropped, and it dropped harder than any of us could have imagined, and we are finding ourselves feeling as if we are drowning and struggling to come up for air.  On top of dealing with our son who is struggling with a severe case of rapid cycling in his bi-polar, I have been fighting other battles related to his services and supplies.  I am back to spending my days on the phone with doctors, supply companies, therapy service providers, case mangers, and insurance companies.  I am not getting the things done around the house and with my business because of the unexpected problems that come up on a daily basis.

The carpet has been ripped out from under our feet.  Our minds are spinning.  We are at a loss for how to handle our current situations.  We have lost our biggest support person due to a move.  We are back to that not-knowing-what-a-day-will-hold feeling that we had hoped was an ugly memory of the past.  Having known how awesome it feels to have things going so smoothly and better than ever before makes this set back sting harder leaving a greater bitter taste in our mouths.

It's hard to keep up the faith and not doubt God's goodness.  It's hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep our chin up.  It's hard to even pray when our hearts are anguished with sorrow.

Yet God remains our Rock.  His presence remains.  Each day, He gives us reminders of His love and promises and the strength to keep on keeping on.

Two days ago, I was reminded by Joni Earckson Tada in her Pearls of Great Price devotional, "In the midst of your own darkness, there is treasure and riches that could never be discovered in the light of ease and peace.  Needing God desperately will always make you wealthy" as she discussed the truth of Daniel 2:22: "He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him."  I feel in utter darkness, and having been there before, I know the truth of the treasure in the darkness is there, but at this point, I am still trying to find that treasure.

Yesterday, I was reminded about Psalm 23 and the truths that the LORD is my shepherd, that I don't need to be in want, that He makes me to lie down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters, and that He restores my soul.  I know He does these things, but it sure would be nice to feel them at this moment.

Today, I was reminded about Proverbs 3:5-6 and that I need to trust the LORD, not lean on my own understanding.  I need to acknowledge Him, and He will make my paths straight.  I feel as if I can hardly see the path just in front of my feet, but I know that I can trust God to guide my steps.  The reminder that God will make my path straight is encouraging because even if I can't see the path in front of me, I can still confidently take the next step because God won't let my feet slip.  If I keep my eyes on Him, I won't stumble.

Dear Lord, please continue to guide my footsteps.  Help me to keep my eyes on you.  Keep me from stumbling. Help my unbelief!  Thank you for the daily comforts and reminders from your Word.  Thank you for your grace and strength for today.  Help me to be a wise steward of it! Amen. 

Reminding ourselves of the TRUTH!

How often, Satan takes advantage of our hard and dark times of life to feed us his lies.  When we are in this vulnerable position, it often is easy to buy into those lies and allow them to pervade the truth.  We might refute the lies at first, forcing Satan to get clever.  He does not give in easily and will even use the good things in life to make us question and start to doubt.  We must stand resolute and not let Satan win!  We must remind ourselves of the TRUTH!

God's Word is TRUTH!  Spending time in God's Word daily will help us to remember the truth.  Often, we need to read the same truths over and over again to truly believe them and to be able to access them to refute the lies Satan is feeding us.  We need to remember to always evaluate our thoughts and feelings through the truths of the Bible.  Is my thought God's truth or Satan's lie?  Is my feeling a result of God's truth or Satan's lie?  I have been finding myself asking these questions quite frequently lately.  I must stand strong.  I can't let Satan win.  The TRUTH of God's Word must stand victorious in my life!

As life overwhelms me, I am reminded of God's TRUTH, and I refute my circumstances, thoughts, and feelings with it!  I find that it helps me to write my thoughts and feelings down so that I can visually discern what is TRUTH and what is not.  This helps me tremendously as I seek to glorify God in my thoughts, feelings, and actions.

My Faithful Friend

By Christine Russell

Life has come crumbling down around me.
You stand behind me picking up the pieces.
The darkness envelops me making me stumble.
You go before me leading me on solid ground.
The burdens of life press down on me so that I fall.
You put your arms under me and carry me on.
I am all alone in my grief, without a friend.
You stand beside me offering Your hand.

You are my faithful Friend bringing me to an expected end.
You never fail me. Your grace sustains me.
You are the only one I can trust. I rest in Your love.
You are my faithful Friend.

My heart cries in the midst of my deepest struggles.
You hear my pain and offer comfort.
I find myself alone with no one to understand.
You remind me You know me better than I know myself.
There is no one to listen when I just need to talk.
You are always present ready to hear my prayers.
The storm rages around me threatening my life.
You offer peace and joy in the midst of it.

You are my faithful Friend bringing me to an expected end.
You never fail me. Your grace sustains me.
You are the only one I can trust. I rest in Your love.
You are my faithful Friend.

There is none like You. I do not deserve someone like You.
Yet, you embrace me; You protect me; You sustain me.
I am not faithful. I am not loving. I am not grateful.
Yet, You forgive me; You uphold me; You accept me.
You love me, my faithful Friend!

(c) 2011 Christine Russell.