Closing out Another Chapter

If you have known me over the last eight years, you probably have known that I have been working part time as a pediatric trach/vent nurse working in home health care helping to keep these medically fragile kids out of the hospital.  I have loved my job and the many wonderful people I have met through it.  My patients over the years remain so dear to my heart.  They feel like an extension of my family.

If you've known me over the last almost two years, you will know that I have been unable to work as a pediatric nurse due to injuring my lower back while lifting a patient.  The last two years have been difficult for me as I missed my patients and longed to be able to work again.  Even more so than that, I have had to learn to adjust to my new normal in which I experience chronic lower back pain.  There has not been a day since the injury two years ago in which I have been pain-free.  If you've known me for any length of time, you know that I struggle to sit still or be inactive.  The back pain has done a lot to slow me down and has changed my ability to do the things that I used to enjoy doing.  Also, the extent of my injury puts me in a risky situation where I could potentially be paralyzed if I further injure the area.  That fear alone has kept me from going against doctor's orders over the last two years.  Part of those doctor's orders have included weight lifting restrictions.  From here on out, I can only safely lift 20 pounds from the floor to my chest level without further injuring my back.  What frustrates me the most is that in my therapy, I had been advancing in my ability to lift and was almost at 30 pounds that first year until I was suddenly forced out of physical therapy by the workman's comp insurance.  After acquiring a lawyer and getting re-instated into physical therapy, I found out that I had significantly regressed in my ability to lift, and the worsening of the radiating pain down my leg was discovered to be permanent nerve damage that most likely occurred from the sudden stop of physical therapy.  I have worked hard in therapy since but was discharged this past December after reaching a plateau and resulting in my permanent restrictions of only lifting 20 pounds. 

That being said, I have had a hard time finding a job where I can work as a nurse because of the weight restrictions.  I have yet to find an employer who wants to take a chance on me writing me off as too much of a liability.  I don't know what the future holds or what God has in store for me, but I trust Him to carry out His perfect plan.  Tomorrow, I will be forced to resign from my job as a nurse with my current employer as part of the demands for settlement.  As I sign that paperwork at my hearing, I will be closing out another chapter of my life.  I am sad to see it go, but I am excited to see what God has in store for me as I begin a new chapter.